Friday, January 13, 2006

resting at Dzogchen Beara...Ireland

gorgeous with hair...

The misplaced genius of a velvet peanut...

So...why the velvet peanut?

It is now two weeks since the long, flowing locks of my husband were pulled out after radiotherapy. I have to admit to some shock at having gone to bed when he had hair and got up to his being bald...but managed manfully to hide dismay! He has kept the hair he dislodged in a large plastic bag for me to keep before shaving the remaining tufts. His favourite nephew told him that his head resembled a peanut...once shaved and moisturised it felt surprisingly smooth and velvety to the touch...hence the velvet peanut!

I told my bass playing 17 year old daughter that The Velvet Peanuts was a great name for a band but was informed that people would just assume it had something to do with penises...so we kind of left it at that.

Had read bits of the cancergiggles blog and realised that the place for me to keep my random musings on the vagaries of being a cancer wife was here on the net where my husband couldn't find it and be upset at my reactions...it makes it quite hard to be completely honest when you think that someone you love could see how much pain their condition is causing you by picking up a conventional journal!

So, this will be the place to be honest...an electronic, virtual "Dear Kitty" deal...only without all the hiding in attics from Nazis and certain death...at least that's the plan!!

Chemo is due to start next week so we will wait and see how that develops...we have spent a veritable fortune on infusions of mega doses of Vit C etc and a strict regime of diet and supplements...all of which were working well until the money ran out. Six months later and the lung cancer has now spread to mets in the eye, brain and liver...why can't this at least be an option on the NHS? The oncologist's reaction to a good diet was " Why bother?" which felt rather like being given a death warrent...still at least we have stuffed the 50% chance of making 12 months deal Gordon was given. But now we are back to conventional treatments and all the complications of a chemo induced anihilation of his immune system!

On a groovier note though, our local hospital does give aromatherapy on the NHS and he loved that yesterday!! They are doing another session next week before the chemo which at least will ensure that he is relaxed for the whole thing!

Anyway, any other thoughts will be added as and when...wish us luck!